New Apartment...New Everything

Well -- it finally happened! We got our new place (actually moved two weeks ago -- but I am a slow blogger) and new furniture! I love having new things and watching Khalid put all of them together. I mean seriously who needs a power drill when you have muscles like him... :-) I help by reading the instructions and he scoffs at needing them, but always seems to be looking at me for the next step regardless. Ha! We got a red dishwasher which just makes me smile each time I go into the kitchen, not to mention it matches all of the kitchen stuff I already had. We also got a new big refridgator....it is fairly common in Austria for most apts to have a dorm sized fridge, which might be alright, but a dorm sized freezer doesn't quite cut it for me. So as soon as it was delivered I went and stocked up on ice cream, pizza, and veggies! :-) So ober nice to feel settled and to actually unpack my boxes that have been sitting around. God has truly blessed us with this place and with our new belongings. And the best blessing for me is that we have awesome neighbors. They invited us over the first night we came and I have hung out with the lady neighbor twice already. We made plans to go shopping each Thursday to the market down the street as well. It is nice to have someone to say hi to each day besides Khalid now. :) They have a 4 month old little boy and are expecting another, so Khalid and I both enjoy getting baby snugglies in as well. Masi (sp?) looks grumpy in this photo, but he is actually a really happy baby. I'll work on a better photo.

In addition to all the other new things -- I got a new haircut (donated it to Locks of Love) and new glasses (black and purple). My hair seems to have doubled in curls since I cut it, but at least it makes it more less maintence because I am not so generous in time when it comes to my hair. :-)

Well that is my update for now....more later! Blessings!

mother's day blues

mother's day -- a day to make the mothers in your life feel special. And my mom is special -- she has been 100% there for me and is such a support and encouragment in my life! I love you, Mom!
but the actually day is so bittersweet for me. i ache to be a mother of a living child that can draw me a picture or be a reminder to others that i am a mother as well. i keep wondering what he would look like now at 16 months. He'd be walking, saying so many words, drawing little pictures, and smiling all the time. i miss him so much. so this sunday I am going to wake up, go to church, and buy myself some flowers -- or let khalid buy them. so that I can remember that i am a mommy to a precious little boy.

Nicoda:
Your life was a blessing,
your memory a treasure.
You are loved beyond words
and missed beyond measure.

People Fascinate Me

Lately I have been struck by how much of a people watcher I am.....I could sit at the U-Bahn for hours just to watch people if my other half didn't object (and he does.). I don't always love what I see, but it just constantly reminds of how different we all are. From the women dressed up in the jeans and high heels to the woman with several colors of the rainbow in her hair. I love watching moms with their kids -- unless they are bad moms which I see as well. And of course the older couples that are just seem so content to move slowly and hold hands as they go. The high-school age kids that always seem to forget what an inside voice means and the old women who sit and glare at them. There are just so many people who make of this world and I blessed to be able to observe them (even if it drives my hubby mad.) :-)

My favorite people watching story happened when I was in high school and visiting my grandma. We had gone to the mall and after a couple of hours of shopping just sat on a bench to rest. My grandmother is also a watcher and we sat for over an hour criticing everyones clothes as they walked past.....to our embarrassment an older man who was sitting behind us got up and walked in front of us and asked us to please let him know what was wrong with his outfit that day. Ha! Caught in the act!

Everything-sick

I'm just homesick, familysick, friendsick, favorite foods sick -- just everything sick today. :-( Guess we all have those days when we miss the ones closest to us! But really feeling it today....I love you all!

Spring Is Here!

I love the spring weather this year! Last year I didn't notice anything going on, so it makes this spring even more special. I go on a walk everyday and sometimes am able to convince Khalid to come too. :-) I also love spring because one of my wisest friends, Heidi, told me in my dark winter season of mourning that God cycles our lives like the seasons. She reminded me that the winter would not stay and that my spring and joy would return. I love you Heidi and am so blessed to have you remind me of things -- and am so glad that it truly is spring outside and in my heart!

We are still apartment hunting which is very frustrating -- we are searching so hard and have found so many! only for them to be given to someone else before we turn in our papers. Ugh! But God knows the apartment we are supposed to have....we are just ready for Him to tell us. :-)

We had a good Valentine's Day day with a home-cooked meal and flowers. (It was a salsa chicken recipe and made the chicken so tender and flavorful!) We spent Easter walking around Vienna and going to Schonbrunn's Easter Market. That is where you see the picture of us with the giant egg. The people taking our photo was so funny -- dancing behind the camera, acting like monkeys. It made for a nice smiling photo and we had some good Austrian treats.

Autobahn Adventures

I promised to blog about my trip back from Holland and thank you Leah for reminding me. :) After we finally got to Holland and found the place who was holding Peanut hostage til we paid her taxes, we gassed up and hit the "Interstate". I think it is only called the Autobahn in Germany, so we didn't that til an hour into the trip.

First I would like you to imagine driving in Chicago -- one of the worst cities to drive in America because they have a problem labeling their exits and roads. Then imagine an entire continent of this. Khalid and I would get on the road that we needed and then suddenly the highway number would change. We would get freaked out and turn around only to find out it changes for about 30 miles and then "merges" back to the original number. Map quest also -- bless its heart -- gave us exit numbers, yet they had no posted exit numbers. This was all doing the day time.... The true drama came at night when we were still on the Autobahn and going 100 MPH (like the cars around us) with our one little working headlight. Not that bad, unless you also factor in that Germany does not feel the need to light their interstate. So people are FLYING by you and you are straining to see in front of you....while being slightly blinded by oncoming traffic on the other side. Then to make my "white-knuckle" driving worse, we hit road construction. Now we are only going 80 MPH between cement blocks the width of a dog house. It was so cool to go that fast and not worry about flashing lights behind you -- but it was not cool that I sat so tense for 12 hours that I bruised my tailbone. Ugh!

And I wish that I could say Austria was better. The other day I went to visit my friend across town and I wrote out the instructions. And they would have worked if I had known that Interstate 22 really mean get on Interstate 2; and that take exit toward Donaukanal and B226 means Nordbucke. I mean really how did I mess that up. :-) Guess it is all part of the learning curve! Today we were driving to an appointment and it was nice, we got there in about 5 minutes and parked. But thanks to 1001 one way streets it definitely took us 45 minutes to find our way home. I won't lie -- I had an "I hate being here" melt down after that trip home.

But I am so thankful that Peanut is here and that she brought my things with her. And I am so grateful that we can now go to the cheaper grocery store to stock up. My little Peanut -- a blessing in disguise.

P.S. In Europe (minus England) we do drive on the "right" side of the road. :-)

anxiety - dictionary definition

anxiety - NOUN: pl. anx·i·e·ties
1 A state of uneasiness and apprehension, as about future uncertainties.
2 Psychiatry A state of apprehension, uncertainty, and fear resulting from the anticipation of a realistic or fantasized threatening event or situation, often impairing physical and psychological functioning.
3 Eager, often agitated desire: my anxiety to make a good impression."

Ever since college I have struggled with sporadic anxiety attacks. Yet since Nicoda died the anxiety attacks haven't been sporadic anymore.....it got to a point where I didn't want to leave my room or house because of how upset I got whenever I was around people or felt closed in (like at a store). But once I realized how bad it was getting, I went and got some counseling and began taking some anxiety medication. It really helped, until last week. For some reason I've been having more anxiety attacks than normal and this past week has been the worst. Not sure why, not sure of the triggers, just know that I hate it. For me an anxiety attack feels like someone just took out all of the air in the room, so I struggle to breathe and I can hear my heart racing inside my ears. My hands will start to sweat and I get dizzy. It is pretty debilitating. Thankfully Khalid helps me with this (goes to the store with me and holds me), but I would like and love prayers for peace that passes understanding to come into my heart and mind. I want to start my life again and to do that I need to be comfortable leaving my house and talking to people again.

Blessings

27th Birthday

I'm now 27! I had a pretty good birthday -- I am a dreamer and a planner, so I had been preparing for my first day of being 27 for a couple of weeks. Khalid and I had a big breakfast and then went to go get my birthday present which was a birthday calendar. I really like them because I am terrible with other peoples dates....I picked a pretty with different flowers for each month. Then we went grocery shopping for special treats. We got ice cream, flowers, chocolate, cheese and crackers, a cake. It was a grand day! Thanks hubby for making it so special!

Things I'm Missing

I'm here with my hubby -- my prayer that I prayed for a year and half was answered almost 2 months ago when I came to Vienna. And although I love Khalid SOOO much and I love being with him....I do miss people and things from America.

I miss my family only being a short drive away and seeing my nieces and nephew!

I miss seeing little Miss Chloe Mae get bigger and bigger

I miss talking and seeing my incredible friends (Leah, Jacqueline, and Heidi)

I miss chips and salsa, Taco Bell, and my QT Dr. Pepper runs

And I miss scrapbooking with my friend Tina

Naturally I am sure there is more, but those are the top in my head right now. Praise God that I have such wonderful people in my life to miss! And praise that God answered my prayer!

One More Day

"One More Day"
Last night I had a crazy dream
A wish was granted just for me
It could be for anything
I didn't ask for money
Or a mansion in Malibu
I simply wished, for one more day with you
One more day
One more time
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again
I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you
First thing I'd do, is pray for time to crawl
Then I'd unplug the telephone
And keep the TV off
I'd hold you every second
Say a million I love you's
That's what I'd do, with one more day with you
Leave me wishing still, for one more day
Leave me wishing still, for one more day
By: Diamond Rio"

www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXdo-Ifwsik&feature=related