Still Counting Down....34 Weeks

 Well -- so far so good!  :) 

I won't lie though.  I am pregnant hypocondric.  My doctor's group is great at making me feel better and taking all of my calls and extra visits -- but I am sure they will be celebrating Cupcake's birth for a whole different reason than me.  Ha!  I am that lady who goes to each appt with a list of questions and I am also that lady who has already gone to Labor and Delivery twice since 32 weeks....since I am paranoid.  But Cupcake seems to be doing S.U.P.E.R! 

At work I still get people who say, "Oh, are you pregnant?" after I mention Cupcake or something.  I never know what to say to that -- "No, I am just really fat in ONE spot"  or "No, just had a big lunch today"  I mean maybe you can be cautious around someone who is 4-6 months -- but by 8 months it is defintely a baby in there.  Ha!  :) 

We are getting more and more ready to meet our little man...  Cloth diapers in size small mostly bought, baby hammock brought, car seat arranged, hospital bags packed, now we just have to count the days!!! 

I

P.S.  These pictures are from last week -- we are at 35 weeks now.  :)  I'm slow.

January 21st, 1983

Interesting facts about 1/21/83: 

Number One Song (that week) -- Land Down Under (I do like Kangaroo Jack) 

(1983 also brought Beat It by Michael Jackson, Maneater,

and the ever popular love song, Every Breath You Take)

Tidbits: Swatch starts making watches; Challenger is launched; Internet is created;

first mobile phone for sell (Motorola), Cabbage Patch dolls come out

Prices:  Unleaded Gas - $1.24/gallon; Milk - $2.24/gallon;

Eggs - $.88/dozen; Stamp - $.20

Famous People with Birthday:  King Charles V (of England)  :);  'Stonewall' Jackson;

Christian Dior (fashion); Geena Davis (actress),

and Stacia Jeanine Hamidi

Great day, huh? 

Happy Brithday to me!

Praying that my 29th year brings me a live baby, a place to live, and my hubby back!

Some Black and Whites of Cupcake :)

hand in his mouth!

I just love how you can see how big his cute little cheeks are!

The sonogramists have been so wonderful to give me so many fotos of the little man!  

I am withholding the images that show that he is DEFINITELY a boy for his privacy -- hee hee!  :)

Rainbow Baby Poem

Found this beautiful poem on one of my babycenter groups.  Loved it!

A Different Child

A different child,

People notice

 There's a special glow around you

You grow

 Surrounded by love,

 Never doubting you are wanted;

Only look at the pride and joy

 In your mother and father's eyes,

And if sometimes

 Between the smiles

 There's a trace of tears,

One day you'll understand

You'll understand

 There was once another child

A different child

 Who was also in their hopes and dreams

That child will never outgrow the baby clothes,

That child will never keep them up at night,

In fact, that child will never be any trouble at all.

Except sometimes, in a silent moment,

When mother and father miss them so much

That different child.

May hope and love wrap your warmly

And may you learn the lesson forever.

How infinitely precious and fragile

Is this life on earth.

And how much more loved you are

Because your parents also loved

A different child. 

3 Years from Nicoda

Three years -- it sounds like a LONG time, yet I still remember how Nicoda felt kicking in my belly, how he he favored my right side (we know now he was stuck there - poor guy), remember the devesation of not hearing his heartbeat that last sonogram, the horror of leaving the cemetary, and the hopelessness of that first year. 

But three years is long enough for me to see how far God has brought me since then.  I miss Nicoda everyday.  I wonder what new phrases he'd be learning and if he'd like sports yet.  I like to imagine him making cute little friends and learning all about Jesus.   Yet the truth is so much more beautiful...he doesn't need to learn about Jesus - he is with Him.  He doesn't need to make friends or learn words because he is surrounded by a multiply of witnesses and was born singing praises to our Lord.  How beautiful!  Does that make me wish just a little less for 1 more hour or day....no, but it buoys my heart to know how blessed he is; how blessed he has made me; and how his little life has blessed others. 

This year his birthday is more bitter for me than the last two, I think because the first year I was still mired deep in my grief and the second year I was with my hubby.  This year Khalid is still having his early life crisis and I have the double grief of missing them both.  I spend alot of time wondering, hoping, praying that Cupcake will know (even only though words and pictures) his brother.  It is SO important for me to pass that down to him -- for him to know of Nicoda and to feel some connection there.

Mr. Nicoda -- You are so loved.  You have been since the moment I found out I was carrying you.  And no amount of time or distance has or will change that.  Can't wait til that day when I get to see you again!  -- Love, Mommy




 


Birthday of the Hubs

Well today is the birthday of my hubby -- wish it was a happy one, but it isn't for me.  I haven't heard from him in over a month and try to balance my worry over with him with the anger that he could just give up on Cupcake and I.  :(  I know that he needs medicine to really be "Khalid", but the rejection and the loneliness still hurt. 

God -- Please watch over my husband.  I take comfort in knowing that You know where he is and how he is doing.  Thank you for how much you love him and all of us.  Continue to grow and protect our little baby!  -- Amen 

2011 (last year's birthday)

 I love you, Khalid Jon.  Hope you see this and know that you are missed and needed!