I promised to blog about my trip back from Holland and thank you Leah for reminding me. :) After we finally got to Holland and found the place who was holding Peanut hostage til we paid her taxes, we gassed up and hit the "Interstate". I think it is only called the Autobahn in Germany, so we didn't that til an hour into the trip.
First I would like you to imagine driving in Chicago -- one of the worst cities to drive in America because they have a problem labeling their exits and roads. Then imagine an entire continent of this. Khalid and I would get on the road that we needed and then suddenly the highway number would change. We would get freaked out and turn around only to find out it changes for about 30 miles and then "merges" back to the original number. Map quest also -- bless its heart -- gave us exit numbers, yet they had no posted exit numbers. This was all doing the day time.... The true drama came at night when we were still on the Autobahn and going 100 MPH (like the cars around us) with our one little working headlight. Not that bad, unless you also factor in that Germany does not feel the need to light their interstate. So people are FLYING by you and you are straining to see in front of you....while being slightly blinded by oncoming traffic on the other side. Then to make my "white-knuckle" driving worse, we hit road construction. Now we are only going 80 MPH between cement blocks the width of a dog house. It was so cool to go that fast and not worry about flashing lights behind you -- but it was not cool that I sat so tense for 12 hours that I bruised my tailbone. Ugh!
And I wish that I could say Austria was better. The other day I went to visit my friend across town and I wrote out the instructions. And they would have worked if I had known that Interstate 22 really mean get on Interstate 2; and that take exit toward Donaukanal and B226 means Nordbucke. I mean really how did I mess that up. :-) Guess it is all part of the learning curve! Today we were driving to an appointment and it was nice, we got there in about 5 minutes and parked. But thanks to 1001 one way streets it definitely took us 45 minutes to find our way home. I won't lie -- I had an "I hate being here" melt down after that trip home.
But I am so thankful that Peanut is here and that she brought my things with her. And I am so grateful that we can now go to the cheaper grocery store to stock up. My little Peanut -- a blessing in disguise.
P.S. In Europe (minus England) we do drive on the "right" side of the road. :-)
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Monday, February 1, 2010
anxiety - dictionary definition
anxiety - NOUN: pl. anx·i·e·ties
1 A state of uneasiness and apprehension, as about future uncertainties.
2 Psychiatry A state of apprehension, uncertainty, and fear resulting from the anticipation of a realistic or fantasized threatening event or situation, often impairing physical and psychological functioning.
3 Eager, often agitated desire: my anxiety to make a good impression."
Ever since college I have struggled with sporadic anxiety attacks. Yet since Nicoda died the anxiety attacks haven't been sporadic anymore.....it got to a point where I didn't want to leave my room or house because of how upset I got whenever I was around people or felt closed in (like at a store). But once I realized how bad it was getting, I went and got some counseling and began taking some anxiety medication. It really helped, until last week. For some reason I've been having more anxiety attacks than normal and this past week has been the worst. Not sure why, not sure of the triggers, just know that I hate it. For me an anxiety attack feels like someone just took out all of the air in the room, so I struggle to breathe and I can hear my heart racing inside my ears. My hands will start to sweat and I get dizzy. It is pretty debilitating. Thankfully Khalid helps me with this (goes to the store with me and holds me), but I would like and love prayers for peace that passes understanding to come into my heart and mind. I want to start my life again and to do that I need to be comfortable leaving my house and talking to people again.
Blessings
1 A state of uneasiness and apprehension, as about future uncertainties.
2 Psychiatry A state of apprehension, uncertainty, and fear resulting from the anticipation of a realistic or fantasized threatening event or situation, often impairing physical and psychological functioning.
3 Eager, often agitated desire: my anxiety to make a good impression."
Ever since college I have struggled with sporadic anxiety attacks. Yet since Nicoda died the anxiety attacks haven't been sporadic anymore.....it got to a point where I didn't want to leave my room or house because of how upset I got whenever I was around people or felt closed in (like at a store). But once I realized how bad it was getting, I went and got some counseling and began taking some anxiety medication. It really helped, until last week. For some reason I've been having more anxiety attacks than normal and this past week has been the worst. Not sure why, not sure of the triggers, just know that I hate it. For me an anxiety attack feels like someone just took out all of the air in the room, so I struggle to breathe and I can hear my heart racing inside my ears. My hands will start to sweat and I get dizzy. It is pretty debilitating. Thankfully Khalid helps me with this (goes to the store with me and holds me), but I would like and love prayers for peace that passes understanding to come into my heart and mind. I want to start my life again and to do that I need to be comfortable leaving my house and talking to people again.
Blessings
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