Two More Angels, Brenden and Malika

These last couple of months have been very hard here at the Hamidi house because we have reached the full gamet of emotions -- happiness, worry, laughter, and sorrow. We found out that we were expecting in early September and Khalid was over the moon. I was torn up because I wanted so bad to be happy, but all I kept thinking about for weeks was Nicoda and worrying that this pregnancy wouldn't last. Sadly my worries came to be a reality when we miscarried our beautiful angels, Brenden and Malika Hamidi on October 16th, 2010. Their names mean 'Prince' and 'Princess' because that is what they will always be to us, Khalid and me. (the doctors have found out why our babies can't stay in...and I will have to have surgery in the next couple of months to help protect our future babies. ugh.) The first few days are blurry with emotions and phyiscal pain, but the past few days have been better. I grieve for our now 3 angels in heaven, but I am so glad that they have finally found out the WHY!?! I cry alot over silly things and have to remind myself that I am just missing our babies. Mostly I am just taking this time to snuggle with Khalid every chance I get because I am reminded all over again of how short life can be.

"Just Those Few Weeks"

For those few weeks,
we had you all to ourselves.
And that seems too short of time
To be changed so profoundly.

In those few weeks-
I came to know you...
And to love you both.
You came to trust me with your lifes.
and, oh what lives I had planned for you!

Just those few weeks-
When I lost you,
I lost a lifetime of hopes,
plans, dreams, and aspirations...
A slice of my future simply vanished overnight.
It wasn't enough time to convince others
How special and important you both are.
How odd, truly unique people have recently died
And no one knows to mourn the passing.

Just a mere few weeks-
You were just those few weeks my little ones
You darted in and out of my life too quickly.
But it seems that's all the time you needed
To make my life so much richer-
And give me another glimpse of eternity.
Enjoy Nicoda until Daddy and I come...

Leaf Finding Adventure

It has been cold here in Vienna, since probably mid-September. Like 30's and 40's cold....not the ideal October, but we ventured out to enjoy the leaves changing colors and to collect some leaves to decorate the house with. (khalid is skeptical if the leaves are going to look nice INSIDE the house - ha!) But here are some pictures of our fun. :-) *Happy National Day Austria*

All I Can Say Is GRRRRR!!!

Have you ever just disliked someone so much that you would do anything to distrupt their lives? I haven't ever...I may have mentally disliked them, but never enough to actually be mean. Sadly it seems that the American Consulate feels that way towards Khalid and I. We just can't catch a break with them! I was sooo sooo sooo excited for Khalid to come and meet my family and friends, see Nicoda's grave, eat real Mexican food -- but alas, I will be making the November trip alone. Thanks to God that we hadn't bought our tickets yet or my verbal explosion might have been felt all the over there in America (ha!) So sorry for those excited to meet my hubby....maybe next time (fingers crossed hoping!)!

* only 23 days now! that doesn't sound bad at all
* the double bad news about this is that now I only have 2 suitcases to bring back my American goodies. ugh! pack light, Stac, pack extra light.

Oct. 15th, Infant Loss Memorial Day

October 15th is a day to remember all babies lost through miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death. At 7pm you light a candle *your time* and let it burn for an hour....then for the entire day around the globe there will be a candle burning for those little ones that we can't meet til heaven. Join me in lighting a candle for Mr. Nicoda....it is so hard to believe that he has been gone for over a year and half. The grief gets easier, but he is always on the top of Khalid and mine's mind. We will also be lighting candles for all the other angels we know who are with our little boy...Gracie, Levi, Opal, Faith, Thomas, and SOOO many more.
Blessings!

There's No Place Like Home

Home: n. 1. the place where a person, family, of household lives 2. where somebody was born or raised or feels he or she belongs 3. the place where something is most common or has its origins 4. a place where one can find refuge and safety and security.

I am 34 days for getting on the plane to make my visit home and I am uber excited! I really like the def. of home because KC is the place where I feel I belong. Thankfully for my marriage I am able to overcome that feeling and live in Vienna for Khalid. Ha! :-) But it makes the time I get to spend with those I love so much sweeter. I was just telling my sister last night that I have started an Excel Spreadsheet to keep track of what I want to do, who I need to see, my shopping lists, etc. etc. Ha! And poor Khalid is a combination of nervousness and excitement. He is not only going to be immersed into the English language, but he will be surrounded by people that only I know the WHOLE time. It sounds like heaven to me to be around people 24/7 for a couple of weeks -- but I know it is making his head reel. Hee hee But he is anxious to go to Nicoda's grave and meet my family, so that should be enough to make him get on the plane. :-) We get to see two new houses -- my brother and Leah moved - and meet two new godnieces and a nephew! And I get to expose Khalid to my favorite foods/restaurants! And now he will able to put a face to all the names I talk about -- and I get to just be somewhere I am known and loved. Ahhh.....so ready for November to be here.

"A man is not where he lives, but where he loves." - Latin Proverb

"What great thing is there for human souls than to feel that they are joined for life -- to be with each other in silent memories" - George Eliot

Current Favorite Meal

I love how others share their recipes online, so I am going to post Khalid and I's current favorites. We have burek (an eastern european dish) with almost KFC coleslaw. :-) The burek is so super easy to make and the coleslaw makes for great snacks for days after....

Burek:
1 lb. ground beef
1 TB allspice
1 TB paprika
salt and pepper to taste
1 potato shredded
1 onion chopped finely
1 package of pie crust
1/4 melted butter or oil (optional)

Brown the meat with the allspice and paprika. Roll out the pie crust on a cookie sheet/pan and leave the wax paper under it. Mix in the potato and onion with the cooked beef and pour the mixture onto the pie crust longways. Then using the wax paper to help form and move, roll up the crust into a tube (should look like a strudel). Dispose of the wax paper and put the meal into the oven at 350F for 20-30 minutes or until golden. Optional -- you may spread the butter onto of the rolled up meal before baking. Cut and Serve!

almost KFC Cole Slaw:
2 heads of cabbage
1/2 of an onion
2 medium carrots
2 cups of mayo/Miracle Whip
1/3 cup sugar
1/4 cup vinegar
1/4 cup vegatable oil

If you have a food processer, cut up the cabbage, onion, and carrot with this. If not cut the cabbage into long narrow slices, shredd the carrots, and chop the ontion. Then mix in the all the rest of the ingredients. Refrigerate or let stand for up to an hour before eating.

GUTEN APPETIT!

Birthdays, Birthdays Everywhere

Happy Birthday to my wonderful mom, Cheryl Bradfield, and to a great friend, Jessica Skidmore! (the 28th)
Happy Birthday Pops! (the 29th)
Happy Birthday Tim - welcome to being 30! And Happy Birthday to one of my best friends, Jacqueline Sikes! (the 30th)

And Happy (hopefully soon) Birth-day to little Philip (my nephew) and M2 (my god-niece) who are due ANY day now! :-)


***i looked for over an hour for a photo of each and then blogger won't let me post pictures-- ugh!

Sayings and Such

One of the best things about being married to an ESL person is the delight of them learning new words and phrases. :-) Khalid is constantly asking me what this word means and/or how it is different from another word -- like courage vs. bravery or probably vs. possibly. :-) We had a 1/2 hour lesson on the sound difference in invincible and invisible. But his English is so good and I am almost daily surprised with phrases that he says after he picks them up from TV or movies. The other day he told me that the chair is 'practically useless' (not words I say) and a few other new favorites are the words pathetic, honor, and blessing. And his new phrase that he says alot is "what the fish?" -- he made that one up all on his own.

I have also learned a few more words in Persian this month, but I am positively horrible at it. I just can't get the right sounds to form -- but I am learning the names of fruit. :-) Always start with food in a foreign language, that's my motto.

Blessings!

'Post' Blessing

Yea! Yesterday I got mail (post in German) from one of my best friends, Heidi, and it just made my whole day. It had one of those musical cards that played 'What a Wonderful World' and two books! One a bible study we are going to do together and one a gift book called called Looking Up by Beth Moore! I just wanted to share my happiness with all. :-) Now I am just waiting on for post #2 to come from mi madre with some happiness juice (aka dr. pepper). HA!

'I pray that your hears will be flooded with light so that you can understand the wonderful future he has promised to those he called. I want you to realize that a rich and glorious inheritance he has given to his people.' - Eph 1:8

Life Updated

Well really cool things have actually happened here with the Hamidi family in Vienna. :-) My two highlights since June are that we moved to a new apartment and my friend Natalie was able to come visit. Our 'new' old apartment building had a gas leak, so the gas was shut off and we had to scurry and get a 'new' new apartment. This was a blessing in disguise because I LOVE THIS PLACE! The neighbors aren't as friendly as the last place, but we upgraded from a studio apt to a one bedroom! Ahh -- SPACE! Since I brought soooo much stuff with me it is nice to have the extra room to actually unpack my boxes. :-) We still trying to get everything where it needs to be and when it is, I promise to take some pictures (seriously Janaye, i will).

AND my friend Natalie Hughes got to come to Vienna for a day as a detour. She came in the middle of July with her friend, Lisa Grace, and it was like a breath of fresh air. I don't get out enough here in Vienna, so it was so great to talk and gab and catch up while showing them both this beautiful city I live in. I think I turned out to be a pretty good tour guide too....I've read the guide books, so gave the details as I remembered them. :-) We ended up our visit having an excellent meal with Karen whom Natalie also knows here in Vienna (small world). Natalie thought it is so cool that I knew Barbara, but unless you've left America you don't realize how small the Christian circle is overseas and especially the Church of Christ one. So thank you Natalie and Lisa for blessing me with a day of friendship!

Khalid and I have also been struggling with a capital "S" because it is one of those hard times for Khalid. He isn’t really friends with his medicine and thus doesn't take it like he needs to and this puts huge strains on both of us when his moods are swinging around. The bonus of problems is that it makes my faith that much stronger. The drama has motivated to finally get back into daily Bible readings and I am loving the peace that God is filling me up with. Hopefully I am getting filled up enough to share some with Khalid. :-) And at church our pastor is doing a wonderful study on Ruth which I also love.

Also for good news my nephew turned 7 this month and told his mom after his party that it was the best birthday ever! Praise for him! :-) And one of my close friends, Tina, had her first baby on the 21st. So i have a new little god-niece named Mia Sofya Clifton! I am so excited for Tina and Chris and already can't wait to meet her when I come visit.

More later....