Oct. 15th, Infant Loss Memorial Day

October 15th is a day to remember all babies lost through miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death. At 7pm you light a candle *your time* and let it burn for an hour....then for the entire day around the globe there will be a candle burning for those little ones that we can't meet til heaven. Join me in lighting a candle for Mr. Nicoda....it is so hard to believe that he has been gone for over a year and half. The grief gets easier, but he is always on the top of Khalid and mine's mind. We will also be lighting candles for all the other angels we know who are with our little boy...Gracie, Levi, Opal, Faith, Thomas, and SOOO many more.
Blessings!

There's No Place Like Home

Home: n. 1. the place where a person, family, of household lives 2. where somebody was born or raised or feels he or she belongs 3. the place where something is most common or has its origins 4. a place where one can find refuge and safety and security.

I am 34 days for getting on the plane to make my visit home and I am uber excited! I really like the def. of home because KC is the place where I feel I belong. Thankfully for my marriage I am able to overcome that feeling and live in Vienna for Khalid. Ha! :-) But it makes the time I get to spend with those I love so much sweeter. I was just telling my sister last night that I have started an Excel Spreadsheet to keep track of what I want to do, who I need to see, my shopping lists, etc. etc. Ha! And poor Khalid is a combination of nervousness and excitement. He is not only going to be immersed into the English language, but he will be surrounded by people that only I know the WHOLE time. It sounds like heaven to me to be around people 24/7 for a couple of weeks -- but I know it is making his head reel. Hee hee But he is anxious to go to Nicoda's grave and meet my family, so that should be enough to make him get on the plane. :-) We get to see two new houses -- my brother and Leah moved - and meet two new godnieces and a nephew! And I get to expose Khalid to my favorite foods/restaurants! And now he will able to put a face to all the names I talk about -- and I get to just be somewhere I am known and loved. Ahhh.....so ready for November to be here.

"A man is not where he lives, but where he loves." - Latin Proverb

"What great thing is there for human souls than to feel that they are joined for life -- to be with each other in silent memories" - George Eliot

Current Favorite Meal

I love how others share their recipes online, so I am going to post Khalid and I's current favorites. We have burek (an eastern european dish) with almost KFC coleslaw. :-) The burek is so super easy to make and the coleslaw makes for great snacks for days after....

Burek:
1 lb. ground beef
1 TB allspice
1 TB paprika
salt and pepper to taste
1 potato shredded
1 onion chopped finely
1 package of pie crust
1/4 melted butter or oil (optional)

Brown the meat with the allspice and paprika. Roll out the pie crust on a cookie sheet/pan and leave the wax paper under it. Mix in the potato and onion with the cooked beef and pour the mixture onto the pie crust longways. Then using the wax paper to help form and move, roll up the crust into a tube (should look like a strudel). Dispose of the wax paper and put the meal into the oven at 350F for 20-30 minutes or until golden. Optional -- you may spread the butter onto of the rolled up meal before baking. Cut and Serve!

almost KFC Cole Slaw:
2 heads of cabbage
1/2 of an onion
2 medium carrots
2 cups of mayo/Miracle Whip
1/3 cup sugar
1/4 cup vinegar
1/4 cup vegatable oil

If you have a food processer, cut up the cabbage, onion, and carrot with this. If not cut the cabbage into long narrow slices, shredd the carrots, and chop the ontion. Then mix in the all the rest of the ingredients. Refrigerate or let stand for up to an hour before eating.

GUTEN APPETIT!

Birthdays, Birthdays Everywhere

Happy Birthday to my wonderful mom, Cheryl Bradfield, and to a great friend, Jessica Skidmore! (the 28th)
Happy Birthday Pops! (the 29th)
Happy Birthday Tim - welcome to being 30! And Happy Birthday to one of my best friends, Jacqueline Sikes! (the 30th)

And Happy (hopefully soon) Birth-day to little Philip (my nephew) and M2 (my god-niece) who are due ANY day now! :-)


***i looked for over an hour for a photo of each and then blogger won't let me post pictures-- ugh!

Sayings and Such

One of the best things about being married to an ESL person is the delight of them learning new words and phrases. :-) Khalid is constantly asking me what this word means and/or how it is different from another word -- like courage vs. bravery or probably vs. possibly. :-) We had a 1/2 hour lesson on the sound difference in invincible and invisible. But his English is so good and I am almost daily surprised with phrases that he says after he picks them up from TV or movies. The other day he told me that the chair is 'practically useless' (not words I say) and a few other new favorites are the words pathetic, honor, and blessing. And his new phrase that he says alot is "what the fish?" -- he made that one up all on his own.

I have also learned a few more words in Persian this month, but I am positively horrible at it. I just can't get the right sounds to form -- but I am learning the names of fruit. :-) Always start with food in a foreign language, that's my motto.

Blessings!

'Post' Blessing

Yea! Yesterday I got mail (post in German) from one of my best friends, Heidi, and it just made my whole day. It had one of those musical cards that played 'What a Wonderful World' and two books! One a bible study we are going to do together and one a gift book called called Looking Up by Beth Moore! I just wanted to share my happiness with all. :-) Now I am just waiting on for post #2 to come from mi madre with some happiness juice (aka dr. pepper). HA!

'I pray that your hears will be flooded with light so that you can understand the wonderful future he has promised to those he called. I want you to realize that a rich and glorious inheritance he has given to his people.' - Eph 1:8

Life Updated

Well really cool things have actually happened here with the Hamidi family in Vienna. :-) My two highlights since June are that we moved to a new apartment and my friend Natalie was able to come visit. Our 'new' old apartment building had a gas leak, so the gas was shut off and we had to scurry and get a 'new' new apartment. This was a blessing in disguise because I LOVE THIS PLACE! The neighbors aren't as friendly as the last place, but we upgraded from a studio apt to a one bedroom! Ahh -- SPACE! Since I brought soooo much stuff with me it is nice to have the extra room to actually unpack my boxes. :-) We still trying to get everything where it needs to be and when it is, I promise to take some pictures (seriously Janaye, i will).

AND my friend Natalie Hughes got to come to Vienna for a day as a detour. She came in the middle of July with her friend, Lisa Grace, and it was like a breath of fresh air. I don't get out enough here in Vienna, so it was so great to talk and gab and catch up while showing them both this beautiful city I live in. I think I turned out to be a pretty good tour guide too....I've read the guide books, so gave the details as I remembered them. :-) We ended up our visit having an excellent meal with Karen whom Natalie also knows here in Vienna (small world). Natalie thought it is so cool that I knew Barbara, but unless you've left America you don't realize how small the Christian circle is overseas and especially the Church of Christ one. So thank you Natalie and Lisa for blessing me with a day of friendship!

Khalid and I have also been struggling with a capital "S" because it is one of those hard times for Khalid. He isn’t really friends with his medicine and thus doesn't take it like he needs to and this puts huge strains on both of us when his moods are swinging around. The bonus of problems is that it makes my faith that much stronger. The drama has motivated to finally get back into daily Bible readings and I am loving the peace that God is filling me up with. Hopefully I am getting filled up enough to share some with Khalid. :-) And at church our pastor is doing a wonderful study on Ruth which I also love.

Also for good news my nephew turned 7 this month and told his mom after his party that it was the best birthday ever! Praise for him! :-) And one of my close friends, Tina, had her first baby on the 21st. So i have a new little god-niece named Mia Sofya Clifton! I am so excited for Tina and Chris and already can't wait to meet her when I come visit.

More later....

Newlyweddedness

Not sure that is a word, but I have been thinking a lot lately about how much harder marriage is than I thought it would. Although Khalid and I have been married for TWO YEARS now (our anniversary was this month) I still feel as if we are newlyweds because we have only lived together for 6 months. Before we got married I remember all the numerous talks we had after I would read websites about what we should talk about before getting married. HA! Yeah -- those talks didn't really prepare us for how to deal with all those issues when you are mad and the other person is stuck in the same apartment with you because oh, yeah you're married now. :-)
I the websites dealt a lot with money, in-laws, sex, and chores. Well sadly for Khalid, I do not have in-laws so no trouble there. Sex has never been a problem for us. I am a stay at home wife, so chores aren't a problem (Khalid takes out the trash and does the heavy lifting). And I love cooking -- although Khalid makes great rice and french fries, so I leave those to him). But the three things we struggle the most with are money (he grew up rich, i didn't), cultural differences, and his bipolar.

Money, ugh! We just view money different -- how we spend it, how we save it, how we give it away. Growing up with a mom who would drive to 5 different stores to get the sales might have annoyed some -- like my sister -- but I grew to love it and see it as a challenge. I do not mind going to out of my way to save even $.50 if I have the time. When I was in America I loved cutting coupons and trying to search out sales + coupons for the ultimate deal. I once even spent almost a hour at a Wal-Green's checkout -- but I spent $19 and saved $50ish. Yet my wonderful husband is more of a one store shop kinda guy and he has no idea about saving. If we have $200 and need $130 for bills -- he's mind doesn't automatically say we only have $70 left. But we are working on it. :-) I write all the money down on an Excel spreadsheet, so he can see it all laid out and I can have the peace of mind that everything is getting paid. And he is learning about sales -- just the other day he came home with bananas because he saw they had a 1\2 price sticker on them. Bless him.

Multicultural differences. I thought when we were dating, we had a lot of these ironed out. But alas, our cultures rear their ugly heads and cause a lot of disagreements. Incase you don't know -- I am Mid-Western American Christian and Khalid grew up an Eastern Europe Muslim (all different types of cultures make him up). Maybe you think it is weird that I put our religions in there, but I feel that churches and religion greatly influence the culture we grow up in. Khalid has a bad habit of watching American movies and generalizing his ideas about Americans after that -- makes me so angry. I have a bad habit of yelling when I get angry which for him is unheard of -- he gets really angry. And we have both had to make a lot of compromises. It is hard for him to understand hugging at church -- he would prefer me to limit my contact with others to brief handshakes, but he just tightens his jaw and realizes that a hug is important to others. It is hard for me to understand why his friends refuse to talk to me, unless he acknowledges me first, but I just take a deep breath and remember that it is because they have respect for Khalid that they do this. Praise God! that we are able to realize our differences and respect those differences. I also praise God that we are now of the same religion. It helps both of us to remember that we need to molding our lives after Jesus -- not trying to win a battle of cultural wills. Our different cultures also allow both us to some extra joys too.... I want to stay at home and in his cultural this is a given....so WIN! He likes PDA -- and it isn't taboo in my culture...so WIN! (and by PDA i mean holding hands, arm around each other -- not the gross get a room stuff. HA!)

Bipolar -- this is probably our biggest struggle and if I am honest, will continue to be our biggest struggle throughout our marriage. Khalid destests taking his medicines at times which isn't an option, so problem number one. problem number 2 is that I have a hard time discerning what is him being bipolar and what is him being a punk. I think sometimes I excuse too much of his behavior because of his diagnosis and sometimes I nitpick things that are out of his control. He is seeing a new doctor (which happened after I moved here)who is a godsend!, so things are looking more positive right now but it is all a cycle.

Lastly on a positive note -- I love my husband more than anyone and am continually amazed at how strong our love is. We have already weathered losing a child and being away from each other and I know we are both stronger because of it. The last 6 months have been wonderful for my anxiety and for me to continue healing from Nicoda's death. I love how much Khalid loves and misses Mr. Nicoda. I love having him near to cuddle whenever I want! I love that someone is always here to hold me when I cry now! I love that I have someone to cook for! And I know he loves having someone to cook for him. Ha!

Thank you to all the wonderful marriages out there -- thank you for your examples in commitment, your honesty about struggles, and your openness about the joys of your marriage. May God bless all our marriages!

New Apartment...New Everything

Well -- it finally happened! We got our new place (actually moved two weeks ago -- but I am a slow blogger) and new furniture! I love having new things and watching Khalid put all of them together. I mean seriously who needs a power drill when you have muscles like him... :-) I help by reading the instructions and he scoffs at needing them, but always seems to be looking at me for the next step regardless. Ha! We got a red dishwasher which just makes me smile each time I go into the kitchen, not to mention it matches all of the kitchen stuff I already had. We also got a new big refridgator....it is fairly common in Austria for most apts to have a dorm sized fridge, which might be alright, but a dorm sized freezer doesn't quite cut it for me. So as soon as it was delivered I went and stocked up on ice cream, pizza, and veggies! :-) So ober nice to feel settled and to actually unpack my boxes that have been sitting around. God has truly blessed us with this place and with our new belongings. And the best blessing for me is that we have awesome neighbors. They invited us over the first night we came and I have hung out with the lady neighbor twice already. We made plans to go shopping each Thursday to the market down the street as well. It is nice to have someone to say hi to each day besides Khalid now. :) They have a 4 month old little boy and are expecting another, so Khalid and I both enjoy getting baby snugglies in as well. Masi (sp?) looks grumpy in this photo, but he is actually a really happy baby. I'll work on a better photo.

In addition to all the other new things -- I got a new haircut (donated it to Locks of Love) and new glasses (black and purple). My hair seems to have doubled in curls since I cut it, but at least it makes it more less maintence because I am not so generous in time when it comes to my hair. :-)

Well that is my update for now....more later! Blessings!

mother's day blues

mother's day -- a day to make the mothers in your life feel special. And my mom is special -- she has been 100% there for me and is such a support and encouragment in my life! I love you, Mom!
but the actually day is so bittersweet for me. i ache to be a mother of a living child that can draw me a picture or be a reminder to others that i am a mother as well. i keep wondering what he would look like now at 16 months. He'd be walking, saying so many words, drawing little pictures, and smiling all the time. i miss him so much. so this sunday I am going to wake up, go to church, and buy myself some flowers -- or let khalid buy them. so that I can remember that i am a mommy to a precious little boy.

Nicoda:
Your life was a blessing,
your memory a treasure.
You are loved beyond words
and missed beyond measure.