Last week taking advantage of the nice weather, Kyler and I went to the cemetary to take Nicoda the stone I got for him.... I brought it before Kyler came and thought how sweet it would be take Nicoda a gift from Kyler. Then we were actually there and it wasn't sweet anymore. It was heartbreaking. I was holding this precious little miracle as I sat by Nicoda's plot and I couldn't stop sobbing. Kyler just made it all the more real what I missed with Nicoda. I know in my head (and usually in my heart) that God has a plan bigger than just me and my wants -- but at the moment I wanted both of my boys to be alive and well SO badly. Blessings of blessings Kyler slept through the rough part and eventually I calmed down enough to take some pictures and pray. I thanked God for His plan for my life; for planning Nicoda's life and for holding him when I can't; and thanked him for Kyler - the baby that filled my empty arms. Can't wait for heaven when my little family can be altogether!
oh stacia, thinking about you today and praying you feel some special peace.
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