12 Months - a whole year of Kyler blessings!

"I asked the LORD to give me this boy, and he has granted my request. 

Now I am giving him to the LORD, and he will belong to the LORD his whole life."

1 Samuel 1:27, 28

This verse is the epitome of how I feel about Kyler....so blessed to have been entrusted with him and a huge desire for him to be a warrior for our Lord!  I hope the foundations of this future are already being set in him.  I pray that the praise times we have, the Bible story times we have, our nightly prayers, and service to others will continue and grow in him a zeal to share Christ.  That is my prayer for this next year of his life and for his whole life.  

1 year old

3 days old

He is such a joy!  I'll add his stats and elephant photo later (need to edit and go to dr. first), but wanted to share 12 of my favorite things about him for his 12 months here.  

1. His wonderful, contagious smile!  You can't help but grin back when this kid smiles at you -- this includes me and his family and random people at the grocery store.  

    2. he has one, adorable freckle on his shoulder....love it!  

3. a great eater -- week by week different foods, but loves him some food.  

4. enjoys reading...we have enough books for sure, but he has his favorites - alot with animal pictures, clifford, and touch and feel books

5.  music fan - he listens so intently and sings along during worship at church and

 along with the radio; a few of his favorite toys are all music related (plays a song or is a guitar/drum) 

6.adventurous - loves to try new things, anything slightly dangerous (stairs, things high up) and scare his mama half to death  :) 

7. strong willed - do I like this when it has exhibted itself in carseat screaming, nope, but I know it can suit him well in the future and has already in developing new skills

8.  loves his mommy -- how could this not be something I love about him...that I am right now the center of his world.  :)  Makes me gooey inside

9. his talking and jabbering -

 i wish i knew what he is saying, but its stinkin cute to listen to

10. his love for anything stuffed (minus turkeys - ha ha).

  he goes and squeezes and and kisses all his animals.  

11.  his sharing -- we worked on this for a while, but if you say share (or at least if I say share) he will give you whatever he is holding.  Hoping this continues! 

12.  how just thinking of him can make me weepy or giddy or joyful!  He fills my heart!  

this is 3 mo old and still a favorite photo of mine!

LOVE LOVE LOVE MY BOO-BEAR!

52 Weeks Old

(written yesterday and forgot to post...oops!) So my lil guy is 52 weeks old today! &. 2 days short of a year -- what!?!
How amazing is our God that He makes us in such a way that we can love, love, love another person similar only to the way He loves us. Lent started this year and I am awe all over again with Kyler, like I was with Nicoda, that God could willingly let His Son die. I would do anything for Kyler and anything to hold my Mr. Nicoda again.... I am so thankful for the 52 weeks I have had with my lil man -- watching him grow, seeing his personality develop, observing him discover his world.

Ingredients to a Perfect Party

Incase you weren't aware, first birthdays are kinda a big deal....

well for this mama it was at least.  :)  I had only been planning it, envisioning it, saving pins for it since oh, February 28th, 2012.  Ha!  And it went great!  

First ingredient: decor...mostly done after lil man went to sleep, so he was in awe each morning to find the changes downstairs.  He didn't disappoint either -- he would make "oohhh" noises at them.  

Then the ever so important ingredient: cake...plus a the extra smash cake needed for a 1st birthday and if you are a worrier, the cupcakes done in a different flavor because maybe not everyone wants white cake. 

 (side note : i am that mommy who still doesn't want her baby to 1st be grown and 2nd to have much sugar even if he is the ripe age of 1.  So I used a super yummy, sugar free and egg free recipe for a cake, plus sugar free cool whip.  They advised making sugar free sprinkles too, but I had to draw the line somewhere.  Here's the link to the cake: http://www.ourhavenhill.com/2012/06/05/recipe-healthy-smash-cake-for-babys-1st-birthday/)

Then the most important ingredient: a smiling, happy birthday boy!  He played his part well -- he bounced around from person to toy to mommy and back again until he finally dropped 20 minutes before the party was over. 

 

Extra ingredients not needed, but enjoyed : presents -- they were enjoyed by all the kids during the party.  :)

The icing on the cake: we raised over $100 for World Vision with our donation stat present party (my family wasn't able to go completely toy free - oh, well)!!! 

 Love that we could celebrate AND give back to my charity.  

 

THANKS SO MUCH FOR HELPING US CELEBRATE IF YOU CAME AND FOR ALL THE PRAYERS THAT HAVE GOTTEN LIL MAN AND ME THIS FAR!  WE ARE GRATEFUL AND BLESSED!!!

Additional thank you to my family for taking the pictures --

 I put my phone down and didn't find it til hours after the party!  Oops!  

Weekend Fun

This weekend we didn't have alot on the schedule, so I filled it for us.  :)  

We went to the zoo, to visit Nicoda's grave, got a tire changed, and to Papa's

 -- and that was just Saturday. 

Sunday we had church, lots of playtime, thrifting, and swimming at the Y.  Then I had to go to work...bummer.  

 lights on, lights off!

11 Months Young....

Proverbs 25:2 (NKJV) It is the glory of God to conceal a matter, but the glory of kings is to search out a matter. 

 

(taking pictures with elephant becoming increasingly harder!) 

How is my BABY eleven months!?!  If you know the answer, please tell me!  I am so super excited for his birthday party, but so not excited for him to growing up so fast.  I am loving this stage of his life though.  CURIOUS! INTO EVERYTHING! SNUGGLY!  Okay, so not really snuggly as a personality trait and more because he has been sick twice this month, but a moms gotta take it when she can.  :)  

Stats:  19 lbs  

Development: 

• walking!  You took several steps for a few days and then you got an ear infection (double) and haven't tried again. 
• crawling champion -- you are so fast kid!  It is kinda incredible!
• going backwards off ledge/couch - mommy was shocked to see you turn yourself around and scoot backwards of the bottom step!  Way to Go!  
• says bye-bye and hi -- not always and not always clearly, but becoming consistent
• waves hi and bye as well, in fact he'll wave long after the person is gone.  :) 
• still loving the singing and music
• has sat through two church services -- played semiquiet during sermon.  He loves the singing, so I glad when he is able to stay in service.  
• become uber-clingly.  You scream whenever I leave the house or babysitters.  It is heartbreaking!  I know it is because you haven't been feeling good, but hate hearing that cry. 
• Sharing -- he loves to share his toys and food.  
• Rolling ball back and forth
• Took an hour and half car ride without sleeping or crying -- this is HUGE for us, folks!  

He is adorable with this toy.
 It plays music if you walk, so when the music starts,
 he stops to dance and then keeps going. 

Kylerisms:

One day you shared your food by putting your goldfish in my mouth which I ate.  You then opened my mouth and cried to find it missing!  (ha ha!  sorry - what goes in, does not usually come out!)

Had allergy testing done and found out that you are technically as allergic to peanuts as you are too milk -- yet you have peanut butter and jelly alot with no side effects and milk makes you sick.  Weird!  

You were being quiet one afternoon and when I went to find you, you were in the bathroom chewing on the toilet brush.  I took it away while trying not to gag!  Grossness kid!  

Watched you from the living room one day as you pushed and pushed and pushed a box over to your ball pit.  Then I was blown away to realize you were planning to use this box in order to scale the side of your ball pit.  No fear of heights for this one!  

Firsts: 

• News Years! 
• First year to celebrate Daddy, Nicoda's, and Mommy's birthday.  You were so good on Nicoda's birthday -- extra long nap and snuggles for Mommy.  And you were pretty snuggly on Mommy's birthday too, but that is cause you were sick....  :)  
• blood work - maybe we'll never have to do it again! 
• Winter Jam -- yea! for music! 
•  He actually fell asleep during the heavy metal band. 

"You didn't need those chips on this cart, did you Mom?"

Rolling the ball back and forth

He spends a fair amount of time in this ball pit

Reading the Sunday paper -- okay tearing up the Sunday paper

Kyler-ee Jaan, my little boo bear!  I love you so much!  Somedays I feel like I can't possibly love you more, but then you keep getting cuter and cuter!  Watching your personality develop, watching you interact with others, seeing you worship at church, following you around the house from one adventure to the next....you have made me love life in a whole new way.  I have been praying Ephesians 1 over you this month -- for you to have His Spirit, for you to know God and develop wisdom, so that you can be a light in our world!  No matter what happens though I will be here cheering you on -- just like I cheer for you as you empty every ball from the ball pit or when you do something/anything!  LOVE YOU HANDSOME BOY!!!

4 Years Away from my Nicoda

I was typing the title and thinking is it really 4 years AWAY from him or is it that I am 4 years closer to seeing him again.  Oh, I long to for that day!  If Nicoda dying has changed me at all, it is most seen in the my desire for heaven now!  I long to hold him and kiss his tiny little feet -- cause in my head he'll still be my baby.  He won't be the 4 year old that I wish he was....oh, to imagine what he would be like now.  But that is a dangerous road to walk down...the if's...so I won't.  

We had a decent day -- it was helped along by an excellent worship service, Baskin Robbins ice cream, and an unexpected visit in the Hy-Vee parking lot.  We got ready this morning and then Kyler stared at me funny as I cried my way through breakfast.  I just ached...probably because I was playing the what if game.  I miss Nicoda all the time, but his birthday is a deeper miss, a deeper wrench in my gut.  We headed to church and as I drove I made up 100 reasons why I should skip -- but I am so glad I didn't.  Our teens had just got back from the Passion Conference and they did a service about child trafficking ...it was powerful.  It took me above my grief.

  After church we headed to Hy-Vee to get flowers and balloons to take to Nicoda.  Side note -- Kyler fell asleep on the way and stayed asleep for two hours (the whole car trip and more) which is a huge blessing for today!  I had brought two bouquets (one for the grave and one to keep at home) and was walking out of the store.  A sweet lady asked me if it was a birthday...I told her yes and started to keep going, but she asked how old my child was turning. I turned back and explained that he WOULD BE turning 4 years old, but he passed away.  She teared up and asked if I was having a party anyways (the balloons were kinda ALOT).  She said that her son had passed away 49 years ago this month when he was 4 years old and she doesn't go to the gravesite.  She told me how it wasn't acceptable to grieve for so long then, people just told her to be grateful she had other kids, so she stiffened her lip and only went to the cemetery sporadically and secretly.  I was so glad to be able to talk with her -- to share some of my Mr. Nicoda and to hear some of her story.  I was also so glad to be able to give her my extra bouquet for her to take to her son or to keep.  In the store I kept telling myself not to waste the money on buying two -- BUT GOD WANTED ME TO HAVE THE EXTRA FLOWERS!  

The rest of the afternoon and day were low-key.  I got Baskin Robbins (a whole quart -- didn't eat it all though! ha!) and played with Kyler alot.  He was in a rare, snuggly mood and I am thankful for the extra hugs.  I know he can sense the tension in me, but was glad that it meant more hugs and not crying.  :)  He is a good boy!  

Mr. Nicoda -

I am so sorry that I spend so much time wishing you were here...I will try to be grateful and remember that each year is one more year that you have had in heaven.  Oh, I wonder what you are doing right now...singing, running, sitting with Jesus, or maybe they have baseball in heaven and the angels play with you.   hope that you can feel my love all the way up there.   So excited to hold you again one day -- soon and very soon!  

- Love always your mommy

Kyler wearing his
"My Big Brother is an Angel" shirt
made by the beautiful Emily Tandy! THANKS!

Beautiful, fun flowers from the Sikes....
kinda blessed to have Jac for a friend, don't you agree?  :) 

2013

Another year is here and I have felt called to make resolutions.  (My best friend is kinda a rock star and she just published what she did and didn't get done in 2012 -- ummm....her accomplishments were amazing especially when paired with a move, two toddlers, and a loss in her family.  WOW!  All that to say, my resolutions are pretty low-key.  ha!)   I have only done it really once before, but God really put it on my heart that I have alot to change and learn.  I am not sure what it is that God wants me to learn this year, but I will try to put myself in situations where I am open to Him.

So to start this year off, I am giving up drinking Dr. Pepper -- for the whole year.  I know -- this is very BIG for me.  But my reasoning is that if I want God to do something big in and/or for this year, I need to do something big as well, so bring on the Dr. Pepper Fast of 2013.

1. Read a non-fiction book each month. 
• Love and Logic
• Parenting with a Purpose
• Ambiguous Loss
• Breaking Free
• The Relentless God
• Heaven is Real
• Simply Christianity 
• + 5 more (open to suggestions!) 
2. Work out twice a week (min.) 
3. Do one thing outside of the house fun for/with Kyler (Monday's Mom not included) 
4. Spend two 10 minutes blocks of uninterrupted time EVERYDAY with Kyler.  (no computer, no phone, no cleaning, no other people)  Hoping to make one for play and one for reading. 
5.  Join a Bible study at church. 
6. Budget, rebudget, and learn to cut more corners (I admit I am already really cheap! ha!) to try and sponsor another World Vision tike.  Have one little Mr. with Nicoda's birthday, but want to have one with Kyler's as well.  
7. Be missional with my neighbors.
• pray for them
• do or make something nice each holiday
• have them over to dinner or games at least 4x this year.  (more would AWESOME!)

And that's all.  Not as detailed as some -- but they are there and hopefully they will help guide me to be being a better mom, Christian, and just plain better ME!  :)  

10 Months - My Double Digit Baby!

"A glad heart makes a cheerful face..."  - Proverbs 15:13 

This sweet boy just continues to grow in my heart!  His smile keeps getting bigger and bigger each month too -- guess I should call it a grin.  :)  He loves having an audience, loves other kids, loves climbing stairs, to be held upside down, and is starting to crawl to me just for snuggles (YES!!!)!   I love watching his personality develop.  He is a definite hot/cold child.  He is either really happy or seriously ticked off -- usually because of the car seat or tired.  He knows what he wants now and will try, try, try to get it.  If the baby gate isn't put off, he is off like a rocket.  If something is blocking him, he pulls and pushes to get it out of the way.  And a new favorite game for him is to empty the entire bookshelf of its books and then sit in the middle to read.   WHAT A CUTIE!  

Stats: 

18 lbs 

30 inches

Development: 

• stand up all on your own (no furniture help)
• go after or look for toy when it drops or disappears
• play peekaboo
• give high 5's
• clap hands to music
• use your pincher fingers to pick up toys and snacks
• walk holding onto furniture or toys -- not interested in walking holding onto hands at all though!  
• climb stairs
• understand no (meaning you either cry when you hear it and stop or just hesitate before continuing - ha!)
• drink from a sippy cup or a water bottle
• talk and babble alot in gibberish (no distinguishable words yet) 
• loves to sing along in the car seat, in his crib, at church!
• has 4 teeth -- two on top (one popped through exactly at 10 mo) and 2 on bottom.  
• favorite foods right now: oranges, oranges, and more oranges
• favorite toy - anything that makes noise when hit or banged on.  

Kylerisms: 

• you got a Christmas train a one of your gifts and you are TERRIFIED of it when it moves -- similar to the vacuum.  But if you see it and it isn't turned on, you go up to it and knock it over!  Ha!
• When your first snow arrrived (and it snowed Nana in for another day), we took you out for a walk and play time.  Outside the house, I put you down in the snow, so you could feel it.  You looked up at me horrified, glanced over at Nana standing in the house, and made a beeline for the inside.  Guess you're not a fan of the cold....  :) 
• you still sing with me at night when you go to sleep, but you also sing to your animals and along with the radio in the car now.  PRECIOUS!  
• slept with Mommy for one of the first times when Nana was visiting and it was sweet.  You were fussing, so I put you on the air mattress with me and you just bounced on it for a few seconds, snuggled up on the pillow and went back to sleep.  Then when Nana had left I put you on my bed one morning, you tried to bounce and nothing happened.  You got the most quizzical look on your face -- like maybe Mommy's bed is broke.  :) 
• started walking with your walking toy while Nana and Aunt Missy were watching you -- then I got home and saw it and was so excited.  They didn't know it was a new thing for you!  

Firsts: 

Thanksgiving

Walking across room with toy

Christmas - not interested in wrapped presents, but yea! for new toys!  :) 

First time to see Santa - classic baby screaming photo

First time to deliver meals - you loved all the new friends to make at each door

SNOW!!!

First overnight without Mommy -- you did great at the babysitter's, but were wound up when i picked you up and mommy was TIRED (i worked an overnight shift).