Thursday, February 2, 2012

Maternity Pictures

All pictures courtsey of the beautiful Jacqueline Sikes! 
(didn't she do a GREAT job!?!) 





My sister's friend took so more as well -- but haven't gotten those ones yet! 
Lots more belly pictures for Kyler to see then I ever took with Nicoda -- sorry Nicoda.  :) 

Names for Everyone!

In September I got a new car -- and it got named this month.  Let me introduce you to Taj.  :) 


And Cupcake got his 'grow with me' elephant for Christmas.  Let me introduce you to Andi.  :) 

I am not sure why I have struggled so much coming up with a name for Cupcake -- didn't imagine I'd change my mind so many times, but it is what it is.  :)  Our little man finally has a name!   From Gavin, to Tyler, to Micah...and now....

KYLER JAAN HAMIDI
Kyler: bowmen/warrior; or place of deep thinking about God (a church)
Jaan: Life (in Persian) pronounced Jon/John


Words have meaning and names have power. ~Author Unknown

What's in a name? That which we call a rose;
By any other name would smell as sweet.
     ~William Shakespeare

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Still Counting Down....34 Weeks

 Well -- so far so good!  :) 
I won't lie though.  I am pregnant hypocondric.  My doctor's group is great at making me feel better and taking all of my calls and extra visits -- but I am sure they will be celebrating Cupcake's birth for a whole different reason than me.  Ha!  I am that lady who goes to each appt with a list of questions and I am also that lady who has already gone to Labor and Delivery twice since 32 weeks....since I am paranoid.  But Cupcake seems to be doing S.U.P.E.R! 

At work I still get people who say, "Oh, are you pregnant?" after I mention Cupcake or something.  I never know what to say to that -- "No, I am just really fat in ONE spot"  or "No, just had a big lunch today"  I mean maybe you can be cautious around someone who is 4-6 months -- but by 8 months it is defintely a baby in there.  Ha!  :) 

We are getting more and more ready to meet our little man...  Cloth diapers in size small mostly bought, baby hammock brought, car seat arranged, hospital bags packed, now we just have to count the days!!! 



I

P.S.  These pictures are from last week -- we are at 35 weeks now.  :)  I'm slow.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

January 21st, 1983

Interesting facts about 1/21/83: 

Number One Song (that week) -- Land Down Under (I do like Kangaroo Jack) 
(1983 also brought Beat It by Michael Jackson, Maneater,
and the ever popular love song, Every Breath You Take)

Tidbits: Swatch starts making watches; Challenger is launched; Internet is created;
first mobile phone for sell (Motorola), Cabbage Patch dolls come out

Prices:  Unleaded Gas - $1.24/gallon; Milk - $2.24/gallon;
Eggs - $.88/dozen; Stamp - $.20

Famous People with Birthday:  King Charles V (of England)  :);  'Stonewall' Jackson;
Christian Dior (fashion); Geena Davis (actress),
and Stacia Jeanine Hamidi

Great day, huh? 
Happy Brithday to me!
Praying that my 29th year brings me a live baby, a place to live, and my hubby back!

Monday, January 16, 2012

Some Black and Whites of Cupcake :)


hand in his mouth!


I just love how you can see how big his cute little cheeks are!

The sonogramists have been so wonderful to give me so many fotos of the little man!  
I am withholding the images that show that he is DEFINITELY a boy for his privacy -- hee hee!  :)

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Rainbow Baby Poem

Found this beautiful poem on one of my babycenter groups.  Loved it!

A Different Child
A different child,
People notice
 There's a special glow around you
You grow
 Surrounded by love,
 Never doubting you are wanted;
Only look at the pride and joy
 In your mother and father's eyes,
And if sometimes
 Between the smiles
 There's a trace of tears,
One day you'll understand
You'll understand
 There was once another child
A different child
 Who was also in their hopes and dreams
That child will never outgrow the baby clothes,
That child will never keep them up at night,
In fact, that child will never be any trouble at all.
Except sometimes, in a silent moment,
When mother and father miss them so much
That different child.
May hope and love wrap your warmly
And may you learn the lesson forever.
How infinitely precious and fragile
Is this life on earth.
And how much more loved you are
Because your parents also loved
A different child. 

Friday, January 6, 2012

3 Years from Nicoda

Three years -- it sounds like a LONG time, yet I still remember how Nicoda felt kicking in my belly, how he he favored my right side (we know now he was stuck there - poor guy), remember the devesation of not hearing his heartbeat that last sonogram, the horror of leaving the cemetary, and the hopelessness of that first year. 

But three years is long enough for me to see how far God has brought me since then.  I miss Nicoda everyday.  I wonder what new phrases he'd be learning and if he'd like sports yet.  I like to imagine him making cute little friends and learning all about Jesus.   Yet the truth is so much more beautiful...he doesn't need to learn about Jesus - he is with Him.  He doesn't need to make friends or learn words because he is surrounded by a multiply of witnesses and was born singing praises to our Lord.  How beautiful!  Does that make me wish just a little less for 1 more hour or day....no, but it buoys my heart to know how blessed he is; how blessed he has made me; and how his little life has blessed others. 

This year his birthday is more bitter for me than the last two, I think because the first year I was still mired deep in my grief and the second year I was with my hubby.  This year Khalid is still having his early life crisis and I have the double grief of missing them both.  I spend alot of time wondering, hoping, praying that Cupcake will know (even only though words and pictures) his brother.  It is SO important for me to pass that down to him -- for him to know of Nicoda and to feel some connection there.

Mr. Nicoda -- You are so loved.  You have been since the moment I found out I was carrying you.  And no amount of time or distance has or will change that.  Can't wait til that day when I get to see you again!  -- Love, Mommy



 


Sunday, January 1, 2012

Birthday of the Hubs

Well today is the birthday of my hubby -- wish it was a happy one, but it isn't for me.  I haven't heard from him in over a month and try to balance my worry over with him with the anger that he could just give up on Cupcake and I.  :(  I know that he needs medicine to really be "Khalid", but the rejection and the loneliness still hurt. 

God -- Please watch over my husband.  I take comfort in knowing that You know where he is and how he is doing.  Thank you for how much you love him and all of us.  Continue to grow and protect our little baby!  -- Amen 

2011 (last year's birthday)
 I love you, Khalid Jon.  Hope you see this and know that you are missed and needed! 

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Santa Came Early!

Santa came early and he brought just what I asked for....
gDiapers!  :) 

 Aren't they just so small and cute!  Cupcake's little bottom will be covered in style.  :) 


And one photo of how big I am Cupcake is getting!  :)

Friday, December 2, 2011

The Joy and Stress of Life

Life is hard.  My life has been hard and then harder for quite awhile now.  I keep thinking it'll let up soon -- maybe next month, maybe next year -- but really it could be heaven.  My friend Heidi's husband doesn't really like songs that talk about wanting to go to heaven because he feels that we should be living in the present...I totally see his point, especially from a ministry stand point...but somedays all I can be joyful about is knowing heaven is my future. 

Blessings:
  • Cupcake is a wiggler!  This does SOO much for my peace of mind to feel him move all around.
  • my amazing, wonderful best friends Jacqueline and Heidi -- they let me vent, laugh, and cry! 
  • people who love me and pray for me constantly....too many to name and how beautiful is that
  • a free place to stay right now and my new part-time job
  • a blessing of a mother who is helping me right now with my bills as they arise
Stresses:
  • Khalid -- he still isn't on medication; isn't being there for me or Cupcake; causing lots of pain and just the unknowing of what is next for us -- for our marriage if he nevers chooses to be there.
  • Worry -- I know we aren't supposed to worry, but I am still human right?  I worry everyday for this baby.  I cry before every dr appointment stressed that it'll be the appt they don't find his heartbeat.  I worry that if he does make it, that I won't be enough for him - emotionally and finanically.  I worry that it will just be too hard to be a single parent (if that is what God is planning)
  • Housing -- still praying for an apt I can afford because I'll need to move before Cupcake comes

As I write them all down my blessings seem so many and yet they don't dominate my thoughts.  :(  Please continue to pray for our Mr. Cupcake -- that he does arrive safe and healthy.  That God would break Khalid and change his heart.  Prayers for my future and that I somehow start to trust God more and more with the uncertainitys of it.   Thank you!