Two More Angels, Brenden and Malika

These last couple of months have been very hard here at the Hamidi house because we have reached the full gamet of emotions -- happiness, worry, laughter, and sorrow. We found out that we were expecting in early September and Khalid was over the moon. I was torn up because I wanted so bad to be happy, but all I kept thinking about for weeks was Nicoda and worrying that this pregnancy wouldn't last. Sadly my worries came to be a reality when we miscarried our beautiful angels, Brenden and Malika Hamidi on October 16th, 2010. Their names mean 'Prince' and 'Princess' because that is what they will always be to us, Khalid and me. (the doctors have found out why our babies can't stay in...and I will have to have surgery in the next couple of months to help protect our future babies. ugh.) The first few days are blurry with emotions and phyiscal pain, but the past few days have been better. I grieve for our now 3 angels in heaven, but I am so glad that they have finally found out the WHY!?! I cry alot over silly things and have to remind myself that I am just missing our babies. Mostly I am just taking this time to snuggle with Khalid every chance I get because I am reminded all over again of how short life can be.

"Just Those Few Weeks"

For those few weeks,
we had you all to ourselves.
And that seems too short of time
To be changed so profoundly.

In those few weeks-
I came to know you...
And to love you both.
You came to trust me with your lifes.
and, oh what lives I had planned for you!

Just those few weeks-
When I lost you,
I lost a lifetime of hopes,
plans, dreams, and aspirations...
A slice of my future simply vanished overnight.
It wasn't enough time to convince others
How special and important you both are.
How odd, truly unique people have recently died
And no one knows to mourn the passing.

Just a mere few weeks-
You were just those few weeks my little ones
You darted in and out of my life too quickly.
But it seems that's all the time you needed
To make my life so much richer-
And give me another glimpse of eternity.
Enjoy Nicoda until Daddy and I come...